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Today is a very lonely day...feel so lonely the first time ever...slpt alone last night..took her pillow which i nv hold before....so nice to hug...like hugging her...she always tries to let me smell it...but i run away...just to make fun of her saying its smelly... :) but....really...nv been so lonely before...though sometimes she came home late...but...there's stil someone beside me slping where i feel ease and cosy....when she's here...i dun cherish her...now that she's gone...dan realised...she was there for me...when i needed her...

First time hug her pillow...first time knockout like her always does when she slp beside me hugging her pillow...the pillow was like..."WOW"..really can knockout in secs....no joke..haha...i know i was wrong to say all the hurting words to her...broke her heart..i know she wanted to prove it to me that she can make...its just that...i have the mentally that she cant do it...but i didnt gave her the chance to do it...so..its my fault....after my ex...she's the girl i love...dunno why...but...now that i feel...she planted a love seed in me...the roots are kinda deep now..she's not that bad afterall...just playful...like a kid.. ;)

Dunno why a peh wanna talk to us..eric told me...he wanted to talked to us...ah peh said before..we will have a kid together which he predicted...we'll get married...i really dunno...i know i must change my temper this time to win her back...as i write now...i feel sad, down and wanna cry...ha...she's the next woman can make me feel this way...which i only had that type of feeling at my ex...

Last night went out with friends whom i've nv seen for so long...went to eat with them...feeling funny when i see girls...no mood to eat...joke with expressionless...no eye contacts....is like....my heart is still thinking of her....i'm not having that so much fun....sent her roses this afternoon..dunno she'll be touched...after together for so long...nv send her any flowers or did any romantic stuff to her....felt so sorry to her...being with me for so long....nv did anything romantic to her...now i also must change for the sake of our relationship...lastly...i miss you baby...dearly..